“What if the most important portfolio you’ll ever build isn’t financial?”
I’ve been thinking about legacy lately. Not the kind written in annual reports or carved on building nameplates, but the everyday legacy we create through the conversations we have—and don’t have—with our children about money.
A random conversation with my son triggered this reflection. Out of the blue, over dinner, he asked me, “Why do some of my friends have drivers and some don’t?” I fumbled for an age-appropriate answer – he was already forming beliefs about wealth, success, and money—whether I was guiding those beliefs or not.
And, that’s what makes money conversations with our children so critical. We spend decades building our portfolios and wealth, but don’t spend enough time having conversations with our children about what money actually means.
To be honest, I believe, the most impactful wealth transfers aren’t happening in lawyers’ offices or family board meetings. They happen on dinner tables, during car rides, and in countless small moments where we as parents choose to include and teach our children rather than protect or shield them from money conversations.
So, in this week’s newsletter, here’s what we’ll cover:
- The 3 core money values to pass on
- A playbook by age group
- What global wealthy families do differently
- The Dezerv perspective: What we see in 500+ ultra-wealthy families
- Success patterns: Habits and choices that set enduring families apart
Let’s dive in.
Why we struggle to talk about money
For a long time, I believed keeping my daughter away from money decisions would protect her from complexity and entitlement. But over time, I realised: in shielding her from pressure, I was also shielding her from perspective.
She saw the outcomes, but not the trade-offs. Not the thinking. Not the values behind the choices.
That’s the paradox. In trying to protect our children from money, we often leave them unprepared for it.
The cost of that silence is staggering.
According to a widely cited study by The Williams Group, seventy percent of affluent families lose their wealth by the second generation and ninety percent by the third.
The culprit isn’t bad investing. It is bad conversations, or no conversations, about money.
Because here is the truth:
If we don’t shape our children’s money mindset, someone else will.
The internet. Influencers. Friends. Advertisers.
That is why financial literacy must begin early. And it must begin with psychology, not numbers. Before we teach them how to save or invest, we need to help them understand what money is for.
The 3 core money values to pass on
When it comes to raising financially grounded children, the goal isn’t to hand them rules or tactics. It is to pass on values. A strong value system matters more than any investment strategy or inheritance plan.
In the long run, it is not just financial capital but values that actually shape generational outcomes.
So before you talk about asset classes or compound interest, focus on these three foundational beliefs:
1. Responsibility, not ownership
The difference between inherited wealth that compounds and wealth that disappears often comes down to one idea: stewardship.
Children who grow up thinking the money is “theirs” behave very differently from those who are taught that they are simply managing it for now. That small mental shift creates accountability, not entitlement.
It is a mindset we have seen across families that sustain wealth:
They talk openly about responsibility.
They involve their children in giving decisions.
They treat money as something to work with, not show off.
This framing matters. Because without it, wealth can turn from a resource into a crutch.
And when that happens, it rarely lasts.
2. Value creation over consumption
The modern life is steeped in consumerism. It is in the air they breathe. Children grow up surrounded by cues to spend.
So it is natural that their first instinct is often, “What can I buy?”
But the better question to encourage is, “What can I build?”
That shift from spending to creating, plants the seed of ownership early. Whether it is starting a small project, saving up for something meaningful, or learning how businesses work, it builds confidence and initiative.
Families that focus on creation over consumption raise children who are less swayed by lifestyle signalling. They become more curious about how things are made. It gradually shapes a healthier relationship with money, one rooted in purpose.
Value creation fosters identity. Consumption just fills time.
The earlier they see the difference, the better equipped they are to grow into it.
3. Time is the real currency
Every rupee saved is a small unit of time earned back in the future.
Whether it is the option to take a break, switch careers, or say no to the wrong opportunity. Money gives you time, and time gives you control.
If children understand this early, they stop viewing money as something to spend and start seeing it as something that creates room to think.
That shift creates lasting calm. It builds confidence.
And it stays with them much longer than any investment lesson ever will.
A playbook by age group
Children do not need to know everything at once. But they can understand more than we give them credit for, if the message is right for their stage of life.
The best families treat financial literacy like a slow transfer of judgment.
They begin with habits. Then layer in context. And only later, involve them in real decisions.
Here’s a stage-by-stage approach that we’ve seen work:
By the time your child turns 20, they should have a clear understanding of the family’s financial picture.That includes assets, liabilities, key obligations, and long-term goals.
It is not about burdening them with responsibility, but preparing them for it gradually and intentionally.
What global wealthy families do differently
Across the world, families that preserve wealth for generations tend to follow a simple principle:
They spend a lot of time defining the purpose of capital.
Their conversations go beyond markets and performance.
They focus on identity, responsibility, and continuity.
Here’s how some of them do it:
🔹 The Rockefeller Rule
One of the most enduring dynasties in American wealth history, the Rockefellers have followed a simple ritual: an annual family meeting
The agenda herein is not to discuss portfolio returns or performance updates.
It is a conversation about what the family stands for, where it is headed and what they want the wealth to enable.
Across generations, alignment needs to be actively protected lest it fades long before the money does.
🔹 Singaporean and Nordic family offices
These families take succession rather seriously.
Many run structured “Next-Gen” programs that begin well before inheritance is even on the table.
Children are expected to shadow investment committees, take on internships within operating businesses, or manage small philanthropic portfolios with full decision-making authority.
The goal is to expose them to the thinking behind capital allocation.
They start to ask better questions, and more importantly, they start to form their own judgment.
🔹Endowment-style thinking
Inspired by the long-term lens of university endowments, some families teach capital not just as a financial resource, but as an engine for impact.
Children are encouraged to think in decades.
They assess whether money can fund innovation, support causes, back entrepreneurs, or build long-term capability. Returns are weighed alongside impact.
That framing builds a different kind of responsibility. One that is measured not just in numbers, but in outcomes.
🔹 Closer home, green shoots are emerging
India is slowly building its own ecosystem for early financial thinking.
One great example is the National Finance Olympiad, run by the International Institute of Financial Markets (IIFM). It invites students from classes 8 to 12 to test their understanding of money, saving, investing, and budgeting. What makes it powerful is the format. It is not rote learning, but applied thinking. Students tackle real-life scenarios through quizzes and simulations.
Similarly, the National Financial Literacy Assessment Test (NFLAT) by NCFE has reached over 7 million students across India, aiming to make financial awareness a mainstream skill.
Meanwhile, companies like StockGro and FinShastra are bridging the gap between theory and experience. They run mock trading platforms, curated learning journeys, and gamified challenges bringing investing closer to Gen Z in a format they intuitively understand.
It is encouraging to see this momentum.
But the best results still come when schools and platforms are complemented by what happens at home.
The Dezerv perspective: What we see in 500+ ultra-wealthy families
Working closely with over 500 high-net-worth families across India has given us a unique window into how wealth moves—or fails to move—across generations. The patterns are remarkably consistent, and the lessons are often uncomfortable.
The success patterns we track
Pattern 1: Early engagement, late responsibility
The most successful families start money conversations early but delay significant financial responsibility until children demonstrate judgment.
- First money conversation: Average age 8
- First real financial decision: Average age 16
- First significant responsibility: Average age 22-25
Pattern 2: Values before vehicles
Families that lead with “why” before “what” show dramatically better outcomes. Majority of successful transitions started with family purpose discussions
Pattern 3: External validation
Children who worked outside the family business for 2+ years before joining showed better leadership and financial judgment. A majority of them have reduced family conflict in next-generation leadership.
The red flags to spot
In parents:
- Using money to control or manipulate children’s behavior
- Avoiding financial discussions until inheritance becomes imminent
- Making financial decisions without explaining the thought process
- Using wealth as a substitute for time and attention
In children:
- No awareness of family wealth sources or business fundamentals
- Lifestyle expectations that exceed sustainable withdrawal rates
- Inability to distinguish between “family money” and “my money”
- No experience with financial consequences or earning money independently
What the most successful families do differently
1. They document their values Every successful family transition we’ve witnessed involved a written family mission statement that addressed:
- What the wealth is meant to accomplish
- How decisions should be made
- What behaviors are expected and rewarded
- How conflicts should be resolved
2. They create a learning framework: Instead of just talking about money, they create safe spaces for children to make real financial decisions with manageable consequences:
- ₹50,000-₹1,00,000 investment portfolios for teenagers to manage themselves
- Small business project funding
- Small philanthropic budgets for the children to manage entirely
3. They plan for failure: Families that pass on wealth successfully plan for the possibility that children might not be suited for wealth stewardship. So they –
- Build Trust structures that protect wealth
- Chart our clear criteria for giving increased financial responsibility
- Prepare and regularly update wills and estate planning documents
The bottom line –
Wealth transfer isn’t a single event—it’s a 20-year education process. The families that treat it like a curriculum succeed.
The children who thrive with inherited wealth share three characteristics:
- They understand the source of family wealth and respect the work behind it
- They’ve experienced consequences for financial decisions, both good and bad
- They see wealth as responsibility, not entitlement
So, most children who are adept at taking over the reins are the results of intentional, structured financial education that begins in childhood and continues through young adulthood.
The question every parent needs to ask isn’t “How do I protect my children from money?” but rather “How do I prepare my children for money?”
In summary
Here’s what most wealth creators don’t want to hear: your children are probably not ready for the wealth you’re building.
Not because they lack intelligence or character, but because wealth transfer is also about transferring wisdom, values, and judgment. And that process takes decades.
The families that preserve wealth across generations pass down a framework for thinking about money. They create a culture where wealth serves purpose. Where financial decisions are made collectively.
Start those conversations now. Not when they’re 25 and inheriting everything, but when they’re 5 and forming their first impressions about what money means.
Because the wealth you’re building today deserves to outlast you. And that only happens when the next generation understands not just what they’re inheriting, but why they’re inheriting it.
Disclaimer – The information provided herein is intended solely for educational purposes. In this material, Dezerv has used information developed in-house and publicly available information and other sources believed to be reliable. All trademarks, logos, and brand names mentioned are used for identification purposes only and do not imply endorsement or recommendation.